Summer Memories Through a Father's Eyes: Reflections on Parenting an Autistic Child

The summer holidays: a time of year that, for most parents, is a cocktail of excitement and dread.

On one hand, you look forward to more time with your kids—making memories, doing things together. On the other, you’re worrying about how to juggle work, the extra financial strain, and how on earth you’re going to keep the cupboards full when they seem to eat everything.

Now add into the mix being a parent of an autistic child. Suddenly, the six weeks stretch out in front of you like a mountain: new routines to establish, overwhelming environments to avoid, and the daily balance of meeting your child’s needs while trying to get work done. And then, of course, come September, you have to undo all of it and start again.

The Rocky Start

This summer began with anxiety. Our daughter really struggled with the idea of the school year ending. She was going to miss her teacher, didn’t want to return to a new one in September, and hated the thought of a different classroom. Deep down, school was safe—it was structured.

So when the holidays began, six weeks of days out, lazy days, family time, and park trips must have felt overwhelming to her.

It’s not the same as the reassuring:

9am – Maths

10am – Break

10:30am – Geography…

To help, we worked hard in the first week to build our own summer routine:

• 9am – Arts and crafts

• 10am – Snack (the biggest moment of the day in our house!)

• 11am – Dog walk

• 
  

And it did help.

The iPad Dilemma

Then came the dreaded iPad.

“Dad, can I go on my iPad?”

“Not yet, bubs. We’re not at that part of the day. Look—” (points to the visual chart)

“But Dad, there’s this really good video on YouTube I want to watch…”

The first two weeks were manageable. But by weeks three and four, the structure started breaking down. She just wanted to curl up in her snug, watching YouTube or playing Roblox. We really wanted to avoid long stretches of screen time (anyone else notice how kids’ personalities seem to completely change after too much of it?).

That’s when the meltdowns began. Sometimes out of nowhere, sometimes triggered by the word no.

The Hardest Moments

When the meltdowns escalate, they can turn violent—hitting, kicking, biting, scratching. I understand why it happens, even if I can’t imagine how it feels for her. I want to cuddle her and reassure her, but sometimes that just puts me directly in the firing line.

It’s a strange place to be—getting beaten up by your 8-year-old daughter, the same little girl you love and want to protect. At 6ft3, it feels so unnatural to just take it, but what else can you do? You can’t use your strength, you can’t leave her alone, so you stand there, absorbing it until it passes.

Those weeks were hard. But we made it through.

A Change of Scene

Then came our week away in Norfolk with friends and family—something our daughter had been looking forward to for months. And it changed everything.

Being in the countryside, surrounded by nature she adores, and spending time with cousins who truly “get” her seemed to transform her.

She relaxed. She laughed. She slotted into the flow around her without needing strict structure.

Bedtime was easy. No battles, no staying up until midnight.

Just:

“Bedtime?”

“OK. Good night, love you.”

Wait—what?

It was like being in a different world.

Heading Back

Now we’re back home, with one week of summer left. She’s been largely amazing.

Next step: the first day back at school. Wish us luck.